Every thanksgiving for the last three years, I’ve taken time to reflect on people and things that bring so much joy to my life.  And while I am always thankful for friends and family, there is a recent realization that I am particularly blessed to have had.

This year, more than anything, I am thankful for opportunity– For the first time in probably my whole life, I don’t have a plan.  I don’t know where I’ll be in six months or a year.  I don’t know what kind of job I’ll have.  I don’t know who I’ll be loving and who’ll be loving me.  But that’s not scary anymore.  It’s a gift.  I won’t be a student for the first time basically ever and the whole world is opening up in front of me.  I’m not tied down to anyone or anything, which is a bigger blessing than I could have realized.  When you stop feeling like you owe people things or that they owe you, you release so many burdens.  I am thankful for the awareness that has allowed me to set those burdens down.

In my 22 years on this earth, I have almost always been anxious, trying to organize events so far in advance so I could be prepared for them.  But then, this year, I wasn’t prepared for anything that happened and, in a way, that’s the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  I am beginning to see the beauty in spontaneity.  For once, I’m not anxious about the future.  I am excited.  There are so many people to meet, things to do, places to go.  I am young and confident and capable.  Even more, I am so, so loved and supported.  There is nothing stopping me from grabbing this life and making whatever I want of it.

I have felt stuck for so long- I felt so big and this town felt so small.  Now- it’s almost time to leave and I’m the one that feels small- because my world just grew to unimaginable heights and depths.

Right now, I am thankful for not having any direction to go but forward.